He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
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This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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