: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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