that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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