I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
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I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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