I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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