is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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