Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize