Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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