he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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