apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize