if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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