your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize