You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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