That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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