so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
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Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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