Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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