this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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