now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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