I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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