If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize