I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize