I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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