Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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