Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I did not marry a roomba.
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