three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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