Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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