who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
420 ftw
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize