I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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