Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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