i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
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Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm always down for nudity.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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