You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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