Having a random hookup so left but love u
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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