Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize