i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
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I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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