I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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