she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
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I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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