just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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