oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
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