remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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