Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
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