Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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