If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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