Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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