was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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