Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize