Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize