hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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