I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize