he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
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