So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize